Hey there. I’m about to unpack our kids luggage from our vacation. But before I do, let’s talk kids at the wedding. And specifically for those of you who don’t generally want kids at the wedding, but there are a select few that you do, we oftentimes get asked, how do you handle that? And to be super frank and clear here, we like to empower our couples to have the wedding that they desire and not fall to the pressure of their friends and family. So my biggest advice to you is to simply have the wedding that you want. If you do not want kids there, there are kind ways of saying something along the lines of we want our guests to be present and really get to let loose. So we are having an adults only reception is a kind way of saying that now, the way to invite those particular kids that you do want there is all really handled through your RSVPs and where you allow plus ones and where you don’t. So if you specifically address your invitation to John and Jane Smith, then that should tell them that they are not allowed to have kits. They can simply RSVP for only two. Especially if you are doing your RSVPs through your website, you can control how many people they can RSVP for. Now oftentimes that same John and Jane Smith are going to text you or call you and ask, can we bring our children? I always say throw your planner under the bus and say something along the lines of we have a very tight guest count and we’re only asking that adults come. You could also say our planner has advised us to have an adults only party. You could say our venue capacity is very tight and that we are asking that it be adults only. Or you can go back to we really want to empower our guests and have a reception that allows them to let loose and have a great time. So we’re asking that it be adults only. Now, for your nieces or nephews, your ring, bears, flower girls, family that’s traveling, that you know, they have kids and you’re okay with them coming on their RSVP, you can put the Smith family and allow for three, four, five RSVPs to be input into your website or to come back on your RSVP cards. So I really do believe that your RSVPs and the amount that you allow for them with plus ones is the best way to control how many people are RSVPing. But if you need to put a note on your website or on your details card, simply just saying that we really want to have a great party and allow for you to have a break from your kids, let loose and have fun. We are asking that this is an adult only reception.

Oh, kids at wedding is a hot topic. People get fired up about this, you guys. And typically the people that get fired up about it are not the people who are paying the bill. So at the end of the day, you got to do what’s right by you. If you want to have no kids at the wedding, no kids at the wedding. If you don’t have your kids or your nieces or your nephews or whoever at the wedding and nobody else gets kids at the wedding, it’s your wedding. You have to do what’s best for you guys. So here’s what we did. We were very politely, persistent about the fact that we were not going to have any kids at our wedding. I did not openly tell people that our nieces were going to be our flower girls and our goddaughters were going to be our flower girls, and so our nieces were allowed to stay for the rest of the night. But this is going to sound terrible, but this is what we did, right? I don’t particularly like the kids. Every time that I see children at a wedding, they’re the center of attention, right? And so I’ve seen first dances be surrounded by children or kids will start acting up and it’s a distraction. And that moment is there for you. This whole day is there for you. And I don’t think there is anything in the world that should distract from that moment. And that’s just me in particular. Right? So our nieces were there, but they were a little bit older. They were like eleven and twelve at the time, and so they aren’t four and five and running up and grabbing people’s dresses and trying to be the center of attention and annoying. But one of our friends didn’t come because I told her that her kids couldn’t come. And she called me and she said, aubrey, I really want to come to your wedding, but my kids and I are kind of a package deal. And I told her, I really respect that. I fully support you being a part of your kid’s life in every way, shape and form, but at the end of the day, I have to pay for the number of seats that I have, and I already have a 200 person wedding. And everybody else that we know that has children aren’t bringing their kids because we let them know that it’s not a kid free wedding and I would love to see you there. And if you can’t make it because of that, I’m so sorry. But I hope we get to celebrate at another time. And that’s how I handled it and that’s how I tell our couples to handle it. Because at the end of the day, it’s your day, right? So you got to do what’s best for you guys.