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ALL TOPICS | Emotional Questions

Q: How do I deal with divorced parents that won’t be in the same room together?

VIDEO SUMMARY

You. So weddings are emotional and family dynamics can play a big part of that. If we have parents that are divorced and parents that maybe haven’t seen each other since the divorce or don’t get along, it can be very tricky on how we navigate through a wedding without any outbursts and ensuring that no matter who the parent is and their side of the family, that everybody feels comfortable. Comfortability is a big part of the wedding day and it should be considered. So one of the things that we like to do is if the parents do not get along at all and it’s not a good idea to have them in family photos together or things like that, consider breaking it up. So for instance, a lot of people do a first look and after your first look, you do your wedding party photos. Many times we can try to get knocked out a few of those key family photos such as bride with mom, groom with dad, those kind of things. So what I would say is split it up a little bit, maybe for the before the wedding family photos, you focus on your mom and her side of the family. And during cocktail hour you focus on your dad or the other parent and their family during cocktail hours. So that way the two groups don’t really have to intermingle too much and they don’t have to cross each other’s paths. So think about it from that standpoint that you can break up family photos. They don’t all have to be done at once and they all don’t have to be done at the same time. And another thing that you can do as well is assign immediate family seats at the ceremony. We think of it very often at a reception, but we don’t think of it for a ceremony. And if you have family that just does not get along or should not be sitting near each other during a ceremony, we want to make sure that we are assigning those seats and we can go over that at the rehearsal. So everybody’s clear on where everybody is going to be seated. We have been known if a set of parents don’t get along, we don’t actually put them on the same side. We actually go super untraditional and we’ll split them up. So for instance, if we have a mom and dad that are divorced that can’t sit together, we’ll actually put one set of parents on the opposite side with that set of parents as well. And so that way they split up. Everybody’s still on the front row and everybody is getting along for the most part. So one thing I would just really encourage you though is just to consider the feelings of everyone and comfortability and making sure that again, that you’re not awkward in your photos, that they’re not awkward. But I would really consider those two things is making sure that the family photos are broken up and not done all at once, so people aren’t just standing around waiting for their photos. It’s really awkward. Assigned seating at a ceremony and then just making sure at the reception that they are on opposite ends or their Baxter to each other during dinner. And this should help you break up some of that.

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