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insider secrets

Who pays for the wedding?

ALL TOPICS | Insider Secret Questions

Q: Who pays for the wedding?


I as a wedding planner, I would say about 75% of the time it is the couples that are paying for us directly because families are maybe paying for the wedding and they are seeking our help to make sure when they’re spending and budgeting for the wedding correctly, because they’ve been given this much for the wedding. But that other 25% who are just tired of hearing from their bride or their daughter complain and moms are like, hey, we need help. I will pay for you specifically to help us out. So that is just like a two fold answer. But majority of the time, it is the couples paying for us as planners.


My wedding is one month away- what have I forgotten?

Q: My wedding is one month away- what have I forgotten?


One month before the wedding and that is the time that you need to make sure that your family and friends are in the know. A lot of time people forget to do things during this month that can help make the day go smoother and keep you less stressed. So some things I want to make sure that you have not forgotten. Have you told which family members are actually sitting on that first and second row? Have you talk to your efficient about what to say at the very end of the ceremony to get your guest to go to cocktail hour? Do you have a cake cutter? What about a cake stand? Did you pack extra batteries? Will there actually be a guest book? If so, are there pins? There are certain things that you need to do in this one month. Literally break down your wedding and break down the elements. If you have a cake, like, what do I need for this cake? I need a cake stand. I need a cake cutter. Okay, next for the ceremony. What do I need for the ceremony? I have a flower girl. Does the flower girl have a basket? Does the flower girl actually have flowers? Who is holding the ring? Oh, have I got my rings clean? Everything should kind of be a spider web. You start with one category of your wedding and spider web it out. But most importantly, did you bring the marriage license? Do you have it? Did you apply for it? Don’t forget that.


What is the most difficult part of the wedding day?

Q: What is the most difficult part of the wedding day?


Hot Take. It’s you. hi friends. I’m Vanessa Rose from the papery, here to tell you that the most difficult part about your wedding is you and the timeline you think you’re going to follow. Everything on your wedding day takes twice as long. I’m going to say that again. Twice as long as you think it does. Twice as long as it takes you on a regular day like today. When you are looking at your wedding day timeline, please be realistic when you’re planning it out. And please speak to the professionals on your wedding team. Or better yet, get a day of coordinator to walk you through this hair and makeup. You need to plan buffers in between each person. Getting beauty services to account for bathroom breaks, getting a phone call, not being ready at the very moment they need to sit in a chair. Give yourself ample time through that bridal morning to make sure that beauty flows effortlessly when you stack it up, unrealistically and cram it all together because you don’t want to sit in a chair at seven in the morning. You are your own worst enemy. Moving, getting in and out of vehicles, moving from location to location, traveling around your venue property. It all takes longer than you think it does. You’re also moving more people in outfits they don’t wear every day, in shoes they may have never worn before. Just stop the insanity. Take a step back, think about the day and add more time. If that means you need to push cocktail, if that means you need to start beauty earlier, do whatever you need to do to give yourself breathing room in your timeline. And then you won’t become your worst enemy and the most difficult part of your day. Keep in mind this also applies to photography. Please don’t plan 17 family shots in a 20 minutes window. Good luck.


What is one wedding trend you wish would just go away forever?

Q: What is one wedding trend you wish would just go away forever?



Oh, my gosh, this one is going to get me in trouble….

But I’m just so over the burlap the Mason jars the whole, like, rustic eucalyptus vibes from a wedding planner’s perspective.

Can we please get rid of all of the wedding dresses that no one can walk in?

There is one wedding tradition I would love to see. Get the ax it’s the old school wedding corsage.

The one that needs to get eliminated is QR codes on your wedding stationery.

Can I get a big C ya never On the bride being handed over to the groom by her dad.

This little trend is annoying.

The wedding tradition that I wish would go away forever is sparkler exits.

Now give it up for your maid of honor and best man… can we not?

The new ish trend for weddings that I want to go away forever is bridesmaid first looks.

Hey, hey, hey a goodbye. That’s what I wish would happened to the Garter toss.

What is the biggest mistake couples make?

Q: What wedding moment made you cry your eyes out?


So hands down, the biggest mistake that I see couples making with wedding photography is hiring a friend to do it. I know everyone has a friend that’s a photographer or says they’re a photographer, but I think even if you’re hiring a friend who might be an incredible photographer, I would highly, highly recommend not doing this. You know, I had a couple friends, they hired their friend, you. She said she give them a good deal, but when they got the photos, they were actually displeased with them. And it added a lot of tension in the friendship. Like you trusted your friend to photograph your wedding day and then your friend kind of screwed it up or didn’t deliver what you were hoping for. Honestly, it’s just better to hire a professional and it’s going to leave you a lot happier at the end of the experience and they don’t do a good job. You can leave them a nasty review on Yelp or whatever. Can’t do that with a friend.


What wedding moment made you cry your eyes out?

Q: What wedding moment made you cry your eyes out?


We have planned hundreds of weddings, but I will never forget this wedding that truly made me cry. And honestly, thinking about it now is getting me teary eyed. A bride had just lost her dad two weeks before the wedding. They tried to have the wedding as soon as they can so that he could be a part because he had cancer. But she had like, three brothers, she had a lot of uncles and they all were in attendance to the wedding and she didn’t think that she was going to do the father daughter dance, so she got rid of it. But I talked with her mom and her fiance and found like, what her dad’s favorite song was going to be. Talked with the DJ and the DJ played this song. We had her to come up and each one of her brothers took turns and gave her a hug and danced with her. And all of these people represented her dad for her on the day. So it was really, truly a special moment, a special time, and it just let her know and felt like he was there, even though he couldn’t be there, there were people there that would fill in the gap and fill in the shoe. Oh, I’m sorry, fill in the gap for him during that time. As a planner, we really and truly think about the wedding day forwards and backwards, inside and out, and our job is just to really make sure that everyone is comfortable and having a great day. And I think adding that moment to represent her dad truly will be something she remembers forever, but also lets her know that although he has passed away, you still have a team of guys that’s willing to be there for you.


If a wedding genie suddenly appeared and gave your couple $5,000 for something special on their wedding- would you recommend spending it on fun late night food or elaborate welcome bags for their guests? Why?

Q: If a wedding genie suddenly appeared and gave your couple $5,000 for something special on their wedding- would you recommend spending it on fun late night food or elaborate welcome bags for their guests? Why?


It’s a wedding genie. Where are you? I mean, if there was a wedding genie, we are going with a late night snack. Let me tell you, your guests love food. And when they walk away from wedding days, that is one of the top things they remember is what did we eat? Was it hot? What was it like? What is that experience? So if we can leave them with an ending experience to be hey, what if it’s an ice cream truck? What if it’s a taco truck? What if it was like grilled cheese? Or what if you went to a special college or school and your late night snack was that particular thing that your college friends would remember? Go with that. Always go with the food. I mean, gift bags is a good idea, but to walk away and say I had an in and out burger from when we were in college I’m just saying late night snack it is.


Is there really a wedding markup?

Q: Is there really a wedding markup?


Is there a wedding markup? Are wedding vendors just greedy jerks who want to fleece you? No, we are generally honest, hardworking, creative people who want to be paid fairly for our time. Do I have a wedding markup? As an event planner in the Philadelphia area? No, I don’t. But I mostly charge by the hour and so wedding involves more hours. But my rate is the same whether it’s a corporate event or a wedding. Other vendors might have a wedding markup because it involves more back and forth between the couple. It could be for invitations, it could be for photography or videography, it could be catering. These details when it involves a wedding probably take a lot more time than an event that is more simple and cut and dry. And so if your vendor is charging you a flat rate then then they need to be compensated for all of that back and forth and revision and customization. And that’s why it may seem like it’s a markup, but it is really just being compensated for the time.


Why are some weddings wonderful and happy, while others are a struggle and stressful?

Q: Why are some weddings wonderful and happy, while others are a struggle and stressful?


Why are some weddings full of happiness and joy and magic and light and other weddings are difficult and stressful and so delicate? In my experience, it’s all about the personalities at Way and that can range from the couple themselves, their families and friends wedding party or your vendor team. If you have a photographer who is miserable and I’ve had it, that kind of infects the rest of your vendor team and then we’re all just a little less than what we would have been if we were all joyful and full of good energy. So I think it comes down to personalities and not your personality every day, but the person that you bring to that event, to that wedding on that day, in that moment has a lot to do with how well the day goes. So for couple really be in the moment, understand that things aren’t going to go perfectly to plan. Trust your vendor team and let us do our best for you and vendors show up and be great.

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